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Aliens in New Florida
Mick's a rogue journalist who's been trying to find her girlfriend since their village was raided two years ago. Her only clue is a note stuck to her machete: Meet me at The Kingdom. But The Kingdom is a far away, near-mythical city, and Mick has to get there in a solar-powered Shanty Van without reliable maps or roads.
Arriving in Welcome Center, she discovers that Rawr, the local cryptid, not only knows where The Kingdom is, but will pay Mick to drive them there to honor the dying wish of Madam Clandestina, an allegedly omniscient alien who tells Mick the exact circumstances of her own impending death. Drowned in two feet of brackish water.
As Mick and Rawr set out for The Kingdom, they get sacrificed by an alien cult; shot at by a homicidal diorama artisan; trapped in a liminal Waffle House run by what appears to be a blob of cheese; and chased by Putnam, mafia godmother and alien hunter.
All this cannot keep them from falling a little in love, but Rawr's a walking biohazard, and Mick's got a girlfriend waiting for her at The Kingdom. A girlfriend with a horrible secret. When Mick discovers the truth behind the raid, she must race against time and fate to rescue Rawr before Madam Clandestina's prophecy comes true.
This book has ... Abandoned theme park rides, swamp creatures, alien nuns, omniscient trees, sentient pink mists, ancient alien lesbian polycule, foraging and bushcraft
